A Taste of IVF Over 40

Egg Count

Posted on: Tuesday, July 15, 2008

OK so I’m not excited.  I had nine eggs.  Yay.  It’s just that last time I had 11 eggs and only two viable embryos.  Maybe it’s just the anaesthetic wearing off.  I can’t get excited until I find out the egg and embryo quality. 

Sorry.  My husband and I had a massive, massive problem this morning on the way to the procedure.  He just went ballistic about a wrong turn we took in the car and I couldn’t help but laugh at him going ‘off’ at my directions.  Well, my laughing at him almost sent him over the edge, he held up his fist to me and looked really menacingly at me.  He said words to the effect of “If you’re not careful you’ll end up getting hit one day”.  And he told me to never, ever, say that I did this IVF for him.  That it is all for me.  He rattled off a barrage of other senseless yet painfull remarks.  I stayed strong and silent in the car but his words and intimidation cut me deeply.  I thankfully pointed out to him “Oh, I see … it’ll all be my fault if you hit me”.

I’m not frightened of him.  I’d be frightened of him if I hadn’t lived with him safely and lovingly over the last decade or more.  He’s harmless … just stressed.  It’s just that this has now taken the gloss off everything.  Not nice laying in theatre getting anaesthetic pumped into your arm with tears streaming down your face. 

I’m glad this is anonymous because I have really deliberated over typing these words.  Yet, it is all part of going through IVF.  Stress shows its ugly head now and then.  It’ll blow over.  What were those words?  … “for better or worse”.  I hope he apologises.

So I wait.  Embryo transfer Thursday.


10 Responses to "Egg Count"

Oh sweetie I hope you’re ok. Stress is a horrible thing, and I’m sure he is dealing with all sorts of guilt and other emotions right now. But, boy, thats harsh. I’m so sorry. He’d better come home with an apology – and flowers!

On the egg count, 9 is a perfectly good number, but like you, its the fertilisation results I sweat over. May I suggest a small glass of red or some chocolate while you’re ‘in-between’ procedures, an early night and a good book while you wait.

Take care.

Guys have such strange ways of expressing themselves.

9 eggs is good. I have had 5 eggs (only 2 worth transferring) 9 eggs (only 2 worth transferring) and 10 eggs (only 2 worth transferring) The moral, this is all just a complete nightmare and there are no guarantees or ways to guess what will happen. Waiting for the fert rate is very stressful, waiting for the day 3 report is very stressful. It is all so very stressful.

I’m sorry your husband behaved the way he did. I truly understand that you describe he has taken the gloss off. I feel my husband, while supporting me, also makes it clear this has little to do with him. I am sure he will come round and realise he has been unfair. It won’t make the day any better now but it will help the next two weeks.

Take care xx

Nothing is easy for us, is it? I’m sure he will apologize. Men are so difficult with understanding their emotions but they do have their good points.
Hoping for your fert report!

O my dear – all I could think of reading your post was – yep- I have been there. I have had two of the worst rows ever with my husband on the morning of egg retrievals. I think the ‘it’s taken out of my hands’ thing that just sends mine over the edge. And yes – I too laughed. He didn’t show me his fist – but the look on his face and and the angry hurtfull words were just the same. He was very remorseful after – especially as I had such bad result and he cried like a baby with me.

I hope you can put it behind you – and look forward to a happy result with your report.

Carrie is right. Quality counts. Numbers – not so much. (Nine is really good though!) Last IVF I had two eggs retrieved and they were both good quality, so it can be successful with far, far less than nine. Keep your chin up. That’s important to remember, because drinking out of a wine glass is hard with chin down – slops wine all over front bits. Alternately, if you really feel like keeping chin down – chug directly from bottle. Lots neater. 😉

I’m sorry you and husband had a bad one on the way over there. Taking you at your word that he’s really a good guy, it sounds to me like a person who is very stressed and at that particular moment just had no outlet. Looking at it that way doesn’t excuse the behavior, but maybe it buys him a few hours credit in which to become properly repentant and get the flowers, large diamonds, exotic real estate, etc. to sweeten his apology. I hope he does, and I hope your day and your results both turn out better than your morning. Men. You can’t live with ’em, and you can’t throw ’em off tall buildings, because then you get arrested and go to jail. What’s a girl to do?

Keeping all parts crossed that can be crossed for you –


I’m sorry about the argument with your husband. Stress really brings out the worst in us.

Looking forward to a wonderful fertilization report!

Hi there, I hope no news is good news and that your transfer went well.
Thinking of you.

IVF stress is an ugly thing. Hopefully, things have improved by now and hubby has realised how he added to the pressure of the day.

But what of the fertilization rates? Oh boy, I almost can’t breathe waiting to hear. Oh please update us!

Good morning. I’m new to this site and need some support. At 42 yo and after 3 failed IUI’s last year, I was finally able (finance) to try my first IVF which I pray is the only one I need,please!!! I had 6 eggs at retrieval, ICSI was done, 5 fertilized but only 4 were good. I’m told that I was pretty lucky. They were transferred yesterday around 1 pm. Since then all I can do is think about it and I have to wait until August 1st for the pregnancy test. I think I already ruined my chances.
1. At 4am this morning,Kitty Cat was knocking over water bowl. I woke up and picked up all 12 lbs of him and now I’m scared because they say NO LIFTING.
2. Can’t fall back asleep and a few hours later, have to go to the bathroom, and guess what, constipated!!!! Had to push, I sat there for an hour, it was brutal. That’s probably the worst thing to do, pushing, but I had no choice, I would have been there for hours.
Less than 24 hours after transfer and two stupid mistakes. I guess I can say if it’s meant to be then it will be. I hope I didn’t go thru all these weeks for nothing. I wonder if the progesterone injections are doing this to me?
HEY EGGCOUNT, how did the transfer go? Hoping you get great results! Good luck

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