A Taste of IVF Over 40

Three Embryos

Posted on: Monday, November 24, 2008

Well, I am pretty confused.  I got my hopes up to some ridiculously stupid level again.

I had two embryos transferred today: 1 x grade two and 1 x grade three.  There’s another grade three embryo that will hopefully get frozen and, if necessary, thaw successfully (but I’m getting ahead of myself here).  Warning: lots of complaining and self-pity below.

Why did I think that I’d get a heap of grade one and grade two embryos?  Stupid!  I was actually dumbstruck when the doctor told me that we only had three.  Heck, that’s what my own eggs are giving me. 

The guy I saw today isn’t my normal doctor (he’s gone on holidays, lucky fellow).  By the time I got over my loss of words I was undressed and getting my cervix opened.  I was pretty confused by the situation and so I asked a coupla questions (whilst laying there).

“How many eggs fertilised?” I asked.  His response was pretty cold and matter-of-fact.  He said that he could only tell me that we had three embryos.  It’s pretty hard to be assertive with your cervix spread-eagled.  I asked “So, was there any difference in the quality of these eggs compared to my eggs?”  He just said that we’d find out when we find out if this is successful – if I get pregnant.

Now, I just don’t think this is enough information.  I feel under-informed.  I feel confused and a little depressed.  I feel like a bloody number in a production line.  We have paid a small fortune to MIVF over my last five cycles.  I’d like a little information, some facts, an educated opinion.

My husband thought maybe the donor sperm can be at fault but I don’t know.  I said I didn’t think so.  I haven’t told my niece we only got three embryos – I think she also thought that we’d have more.  I probably gave her that idea.  I honestly thought we’d have five or six.  Where the hell did I get that number from?  Is it that unrealistic?  I didn’t think so but, oh well, nothing in this game is certain.  I should’ve known better.  I’m not going to tell her how many embryos we got – no point really.  She knows I had two embryos transferred today and I think that’s got her feeling pretty good. 

To help me along, I am telling myself that my niece’s egg quality has to be better than my own egg quality; that there is a better chance.  I wonder if there is a site that discusses this type of situation in a bit of detail?  I mean obviously a 24 year old’s grade two embryo has to be better than a 41 year old’s grade two embryo – right?   

I feel like they must have dropped half of the eggs on the floor or accidentally ruined them and didn’t want to tell me.  Maybe the eggs themselves weren’t that great.  Maybe someone told them that they were going to be transferred into me and they jumped into another petrie dish! 

But really … Really!  I can’t sleep at the moment so I am writing this ridiculous garble.  I’d feel a lot better if I’d had a four minute conversation with this guy.  If he’d at least given me some statistics, some positivity.  All he said was “Good luck” – about three times – as I was leaving.  Argh. 

I feel better already.  Nothing like a good whinge to friends ☺.  And, well, I feel the roller coaster starting to head for the sky again.  Time for the two week wait.

By the way, I am very quietly jumping out of my skin for the Evil Stepmonster, Peeveme and for the lady Behind the Mask who all had positives today – I’m sending lots of positive energy their way.  Is there something in the broadband?  ☺ I want some too ☺

Sorry for all the moaning but it’s amazing how spitting words onto a keyboard can help one process thoughts and feelings.  I do feel a bit better now!

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13 Responses to "Three Embryos"

I’m sure the egg / embryo quality is going to be better. It has to be. I’m sorry the numbers are disappointing. And I hate that doctor.

That doctor is a certifiable a.s.s. Seriously, he could’ve given you more information about embryo quality. That’s standard. My guess is he probably didn’t know and rather than telling you he didn’t know he just blew you off.

Still, the chances with embryos made from 24-year old eggs must be very, very good. Hang in there!

I share you dumbfounded-ness at the small number of embys. I also share you wrath at the DR. WTF?

When you meet with your RE he’s got a lot a explaining to do.

Not to get all cheerleader on you but I totally agree that these have to be better quality than in your past attempts with you own eggs. They just gotta be.

I am wishing you peace of mind (and lots of implantation) in the next 2 weeks.

Ooooo sweetie pie – don’t forget they are 24 year old eggs – and they will be HEAPS better than yours.

I kinda agree – three out of 9 isn’t good – and I must say it kinda confirms my thoughts that what ever they do in that Melb IVF lab – it isn’t good.

But hey – lets not look for ‘black snakes’ – and lets thinks ‘the twins are cooking in time to make you extra cheeful for christmas’.

xxxx

Sweetheart Grade 1 is very good and I’m sure being so young must make a difference. Do you have an assigned Nurse at MIVF? If so I would be asking her all your questions and if she can’t answer them then ask to speak directly to an embryologist. They allow you to do that at Monash so I’m sure MIVF would be the same. As you say it’s your money and your information.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like a you’re just a number in this process. Once you have more info I’m sure that you will start to feel better about the whole thing. Until then, strap yourself in for the 2ww rollercoaster!

Best wishes for the best of luck.

I’m sorry, and I also agree that it is a little disappointing 😦 My old FS didn’t do any of my transfers and the “fill in” FS’s at MIVF wouldn’t tell me jack either. They suck in that way. The embryologists don’t tell you anything either! My Dandenong Nurse can access ferilisation numbers, dividing rates, embie grades, etc. from her computer so hopefully you can get this info elsewhere. Over the years I have tried googling stats on my early-mid-20 eggs and came up with nothing. I’m rambling again cos I don’t know what to say. Disappointment doesn’t mean this cycle hasn’t yielded healthier eggs/embies though so I am crossing everything that these finally are your lucky 2.

I hate the mystery routine that they love to give you. No one knows how many eggs did this or how many sperm did that or how many embryos there were last night as compared to this morning. It never ceases to amaze me that people at the lab (any lab) claim to have the most exacting standards and then they can’t tell you the most basic facts. Sometimes I think those big machines that say IBM on their desks are just paperweights.

Try and pay your $7421.74 bill with $7421.47 and they will pick up on it in a flash and stop the whole cycle until the extra $ .27 is coughed up. Then you can see just how fast they can get information to you.

I wish I had 24 year old eggs no matter how many fertilized. My own eggs are getting ready to retire. Good Luck !

Hey M … you are sooo right! I am laughing out loud.

As someone that has done 4 different ED cycles as a recipicent I’m sadly not
that surprised at the result. I am actually wondering if there is a way of
speaking to you privately, as I really feel you.

Hi little china,

My email address is melbagirl67 @gmail.com

Is there meant to be a com.au on the end????

Ok, this is the diffrence. I am 43 and my sister is 2 years younger. We embarked on MIVF when she was 39 and I was 41. She went 1st. She had 9 eggs. Only 2 embryos survived. First transfer was unsuccesful, 2nd transfer resulted in a beautiful baby girl who just turned 1. I on the other hand have had in total over 20 emrbroys tranferred ( average about 6 embryos per pick up) none have implanted.

So its not how many you get. Remember it only takes one, and its quality not quantity. Good luck to you

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