A Taste of IVF Over 40

Archive for the ‘Attempt 3 – FET’ Category

OK.  Today I feel sad.

I wonder, do I have to go on the pill for 3 or so weeks again before I start my next stimulation?  Do you have to do that every stimulation cycle?  It takes up so much valuable time.

Oh well.  It should be quite accurate – very sensitive test and 11dpo.  I’ll do it again tomorrow just for entertainment’s sake but now I’m looking forward to another stimulated cycle. 

I have absolutely no idea why I am almost detached from the process this time.  I am behaving completely differently from my last two week wait.  It might be because this was a completely natural cycle and there were no additional hormones added to my system.  It might be because I got so hurt last time I switched myself off mentally a bit.  Also, I never really believed it would work – faced the odds without the influence of hormones: over 40 using one thawed embryo. 

Still four days until my official HCG blood test – that’s like the most useless thing I can imagine doing.  The bright side?  Easy … the odds are up for other people who are currently waiting for their results. 

I hope the 20 pregnancy tests I ordered arrive today. 

It’s now 10 days since I ovulated and eight days since the frozen embryo was transferred.  I do not feel pregnant at all – not a symptom.  I have my official HCG blood test in another six days but I’ll definately know for certain by then.

This two week wait has been much easier.  I am not thinking pregnant.  To be honest, I had a beer last night.  I’ll let you know how my home pregnancy test goes as soon as I have a response. 

There’s so much conflicting advice here.  Some clinics say it doesn’t matter and others say it’s not a good idea.  This article says it may actually improve your chances of implantation!   http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1058408.stm.  It’s not a new article.  Sadly, it still proves I am spending way too much time on the internet.

I have a 42yo friend who just found out that she’s pregnant (naturally), and she’s genuinely thrown.  Her world has changed; she didn’t want to have kids.  She is learning to deal with it.  I’m wondering if I feel sorry for her.  I do, a bit, I think.  Maybe.  I’m not sure because I know that she’ll most likely fall in love with it and eventually she’ll find that her life is richer.  Am I jealous?  Only a little bit.  Ask me again at the end of my 2WW when I am all depressed and self-pitying.

I’m waiting until the home pregnancy tests I ordered on the internet arrive.  Oh, and no I didn’t tell my husband I ordered them.  Consequently, I am quite certain that he does not read my blog because he would clearly have had something to say!  He is a sweetie … that was just in case 😉

CYCLE UPDATE
I am 4dpo (2 days since my FET) and all is well. 

It’s funny you know (not funny ha-ha, funny strange). My doctor broke some bad news to me yesterday and said that only one of my two embryos had survived the thaw. I was like – “Oh well, at least we have the other one”. Why wasn’t I upset?

Now, if I had just emerged from a 2 week wait I’m sure I would have been much more upset, but there had been no build-up to this bad news. It’s like the 2 week wait gradually builds in intensity and then hits a crescendo at the end of the 14 days. You are so much more hopeful/delicate/irrational at the end – well, that’s what I’ve noticed about me.

The 2 week wait screws with your mind. It builds your hopes and dreams. It allows you a hint of family-fantasy. You just get so swamped with hope. Wouldn’t it be good if you could go into a deep sleep for 14 days and wake up and find out if you were pregnant – like only 10 minutes had passed. I KNOW that I would be a lot better off if you could do that … ahh, silly me again.

Of course, my chance of getting pregnant this cycle is now greatly reduced but I am very happy that the embryo that was transferred looks very good – grade 2 embryo – so said the scientist and the doctor. I am very proud of my 40 year old system. I seem to make good eggs, still. For a little while at least.

The blood test for my HCG level is on Monday the 31st march. This would put me at 14 days from the thawed embryo transfer and 16 days from ovulation.

This is a natural cycle and I tell you what, compared to an IVF stimulation cycle it is eerily calm. Everything is so normal. I don’t feel all ‘suped up’ on whoremoanes and my body feels wonderful – not bloated or sore. I’m not taking anything. No hormones. Nothing – just waiting now.

Oh, and don’t think for a second that I won’t resort to a home pregnancy test. 
Are you mad??!!  I’ll be starting those in about a week! I have found a website where you can buy heaps at a time for next to nothing. http://www.fertilitynaturopath.com.  I just ordered 20 for $27.00.  Well? … it saved on the postage 😛

The clinic rang me yesterday (whilst I was at the Melbourne Grand Prix – very noisy!) and told me to come in at 10:40am today for the transfer 😀

Both embryos froze safely and I am wondering how well they will cope with the thaw. I understand that different clinics have different success rates with freezing and thawing embryos, depending on the techniques they use, and other things. It is my understanding that Melbourne IVF has a good success rate. So I am feeling very positive today.

Oh no. I know what this means … it just dawned on me. As of today I am about to start my TWO WEEK WAIT. Aaarghh. Anyone else want to join me?

Yay! My LH surge was this morning (on day 18 – right when it should have been – why all the panic?!).

I have an egg! Poor little wasted egg that no-one can do anything with.

Now I’m waiting for the clinic to ring me back and tell me when my frozen embryo transfer is. It is so much nicer waiting for a phone call like this as opposed to waiting for a phone call with HCG results.