A Taste of IVF Over 40

Archive for the ‘Attempt 5 – IVF’ Category

What do you think?

I’ve been talking to my husband and his view is that we just go straight for my niece’s donated eggs.  Don’t worry about going to Sydney IVF, don’t waste time with more cycles; start putting our effort into something with a better chance of success.

I can’t blame him.  He’s nearly 50.  He doesn’t want to wait any longer.  He’s sick of me being sad.  He doesn’t want me to finally get pregnant when he’s 53.  If I go to Sydney IVF that would mean a lot of headaches with travel.

The question I keep asking myself is “How strong is my desire to use my own eggs?”  I don’t think it’s that strong any more.  If I use my niece’s eggs we can still attend Melbourne IVF.  When I look at the child I’m sure I will only ever see my own child.  Maybe I’m having a major paradigm shift.  This whole journey, it’s been about getting my old eggs to work.  Well, I think I’ve changed my mind.

I’m considering just going straight to my niece’s eggs.  I feel like a cheat.  Theoretically my eggs are still sort of OK.  But I’ve just about given up trying to kick them into action. 

Please let me know what you think.  Will I regret it later?  You can post anonymously.

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Nah, I’m still not bloody pregnant! … and I’ve been testing each day 🙂

Although, I am very, very lucky.  I have a wonderful 23 year old niece who says she’ll donate me some eggs.  I am meeting with her in a couple of weeks.  I’ll let you know how the conversation goes – eek.  Such a special gift.  Would you believe I have only met this angel about four times in my entire life!  And only once since she’s been an adult!  It was my sister’s idea, and she asked her for me.  My niece did not even hesitate.  She does live on the other side of the country and so it will take some orchestrating. 

Have you read some of the comments I’ve been getting from other women over 40?  My heart goes out to them.  Each post brings someone new.  Ladies, please keep me informed of your progress.  A lot of their stories are on on my About Me page.

One thing I didn’t say earlier was that I have also made an appointment with another clinic.  Having a baby with my own eggs is my ultimate goal.  So I’m going to give it two or three more goes.  Until I turn 41 at least – and that’s only November!  The clinic is Sydney IVF.  Well, I didn’t say it at the time (because I was hoping and praying that this last cycle would work for me) but I made an appointment.  It’s for the 4th of September.  In the meantime I’m going to try and get my lumpy body back into shape.

So this is my strategy: 

  1. Talk to my niece and explain everything to her
  2. Talk to the new doctor and explain everything to him
  3. Have another couple of attempts with my own bludging, crappy eggs
  4. Use my niece’s delightfully fresh and fit eggs (as a last resort because please, dear God, I want my own eggs to work).

Edit: I later cancelled the appointment with the Sydney clinic.  I didn’t see what they could do differently for me.  After all, it’s not the clinic that is the problem … it’s my eggs!

It’s six days post my two day transfer and my home pregnancy test this morning showed not pregnant.  I don’t know what else to say.  Married for 11 years.  No baby. 

My attitude towards IVF has changed.  I have started to view it as a waste of money, for me.  Maybe I’m sick of the roller-coaster.  I still feel as though I have a lot of psychological energy left though.  I know what it’s like to turn your back on trying to fall pregnant (when I had the 11 week miscarriage from my first IVF) and I am not like that.

However, so many back to back cycles has left my body looking and feeling like an unfit 50 year old’s body – tired, lumpy and weak.  I want to be able to run again without feeling my ovaries bouncing around, or being worried that some little embryo will fall out!

I’m feeling sad today and sick of IVF.  It’s expensive and it doesn’t work.  Sniff.

I had two embryos transferred on Thursday.  One was a grade 2 and the other was a grade 3.

I have been waiting for word from the clinic regarding the quality of the remaining embryos; were there any left for freezing?  I found out today that none could be frozen.  Ouch.

It all seems a little like deja vu.  I’ll start doing home pregnancy tests tomorrow because I have so many in my bathroom cupboard (about10)!

I’m meeting with my niece in a couple of weeks.  I think it’s time to start discussions with her about using her donated eggs.  Aren’t I lucky that I have her as an option? 🙂

OK so I’m not excited.  I had nine eggs.  Yay.  It’s just that last time I had 11 eggs and only two viable embryos.  Maybe it’s just the anaesthetic wearing off.  I can’t get excited until I find out the egg and embryo quality. 

Sorry.  My husband and I had a massive, massive problem this morning on the way to the procedure.  He just went ballistic about a wrong turn we took in the car and I couldn’t help but laugh at him going ‘off’ at my directions.  Well, my laughing at him almost sent him over the edge, he held up his fist to me and looked really menacingly at me.  He said words to the effect of “If you’re not careful you’ll end up getting hit one day”.  And he told me to never, ever, say that I did this IVF for him.  That it is all for me.  He rattled off a barrage of other senseless yet painfull remarks.  I stayed strong and silent in the car but his words and intimidation cut me deeply.  I thankfully pointed out to him “Oh, I see … it’ll all be my fault if you hit me”.

I’m not frightened of him.  I’d be frightened of him if I hadn’t lived with him safely and lovingly over the last decade or more.  He’s harmless … just stressed.  It’s just that this has now taken the gloss off everything.  Not nice laying in theatre getting anaesthetic pumped into your arm with tears streaming down your face. 

I’m glad this is anonymous because I have really deliberated over typing these words.  Yet, it is all part of going through IVF.  Stress shows its ugly head now and then.  It’ll blow over.  What were those words?  … “for better or worse”.  I hope he apologises.

So I wait.  Embryo transfer Thursday.

Twas the night before egg pickup and all through the house … the cat was arunning, like chasing a mouse.
The ovaries were wincing, from their heavy load … and the mother was giddy, like she’d kissed a toad.
With the husband home late and the house a slight mess … she cuddled the cat and tried not to stress.
In fact she’s not stressing and feels quite relaxed … the morning will come and her eggs will be taxed!  

HA ha ha.  Why am I in such a weird mood !!?

Yep, I’ve had no symptoms until today but now, thankfully, I have nice tender ovaries.  Yay!  I’ve also developed a really ‘giddy’ or ‘groggy’ disposition today.  Like I’ve had two or three drinks.  Weird but cool – but only if it’s the hormones, he he!

As always, I have another three days of injections to go prior to the trigger.

Seeings how I was using Clomid instead of Synarel I have to take two extra injections of Orgalutran (antagonist) to avoid premature ovulation.  I think from memory (from what my doctor said) the Synarel inhibits your pituitary gland whilst the clomid stimultates it.  I’m still on the Gonal-F as usual though – but a smaller dose of only 300iu per day.  One good thing I may not have mentioned earlier is that I did not have the contraception pill with this cycle.  They’ll call me today with my trigger time … such excitement!  This is how it looks this cycle.

Day 1 …
Day 2 …
Day 3 … 2 Clomid tablets
Day 4 … 2 Clomid tablets and 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 5 … 2 Clomid tablets and 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 6 … 2 Clomid tablets and 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 7 … 2 Clomid tablets and 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 8 … 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 9 … 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 10 … 300iu Gonal-F injection
Day 11 … 300iu Gonal-F injection and Orgalutran injection
Day 12 … 300iu Gonal-F injection and Orgalutran injection
Day 13 … Trigger (July 13)
Day 14 …
Day 15 … Egg Pickup (July 15)
Day 16 …
Day 17 … Embryo transfer (July 17 – fingers crossed!)

Oh, and I forgot to say the most important bit!  I have six follicles on one side and three on the other.  Let’s see if egg quality is improved.