Read About Me
What have I been doing? Why didn’t it click?
Melbagirl
Nicole Kidman can do it. Madonna, Jerry Hall and Helen Hunt did it. Heck, I bet it won’t be long before Kylie does it. It’s in all the media – lots of women having babies in their forties! So why can’t I do it?
Stupid Woman!
Well, I’m your typical ‘didn’t pay attention’ girl who assumed the wonderous miracles of modern science would supply me with a baby whenever I wanted … so long as I didn’t leave it until I was over 45 – “that’d be pushing things a bit,” I thought.
How many times over my life would I have read articles describing the life expectancy of female eggs? How often did this information not register? Why didn’t it sink in? What was I thinking? I always knew that I’d have to use IVF and I just assumed that IVF would work for me, no problem at all – idiot.
The Misguided Truth
I was very shocked to find that I am an ‘old woman’ reproductively speaking. The media has successfully instilled the belief in some of us that 40 year olds are just as beautiful, fit, healthy, sexually attractive and happy as 30 years olds … “40 is the new 30” has been my motto. I think it’s a good thing. We can inject botox, wear cute outfits and have plenty of other treatments to maintain a youthful appearance. But us 40-somethings live with that issue – you can’t stop the clock on your ovaries – no matter how young you look or feel.
It’s like knowing you have a beautiful wedding dress tucked away in your wardrobe, a family heirloom passed down to you from your mother, safely waiting for years. You know you look gorgeous in it and you dream of the day you’ll wear it for your husband and family. When your special day finally arrives you discover it’s been eaten at by moths. It’s actually much, much worse than this of course.
My History
My husband and I live in Melbourne and we cannot conceive. He is completely infertile as a result of the mumps when he was young. Therefore we tried IVF in 1999 when I was 32. It was successful but we lost the heartbeat at 11/12 weeks. I was too upset by the IVF after-effects and the loss of the baby to consider trying again anytime soon.
Life moved on, as it does, and about a year ago my husband and I decided the time, and our relationship, was definitely right to try again. Then I found out the truth! My eggs are on their last legs.
Donor Sperm and My Old Eggs
We are using donor sperm and ICSI. My doctor told me I will only have good eggs for about another year so if I’m not lucky very soon, we’ll be looking for donor eggs to go along with our donor sperm. Oh. And here’s the dessert – I have just found out that I am twice as likely to miscarry at my age. Great. If all goes well and I do get pregnant, each day I’ll wake up wondering if I’ll still be pregnant when I go to sleep that night.
My goodness I am totally driven to have a baby (healthy, happy twins preferably please God!) – it’s unbelievable. If someone told me building a house or starting a business would be this difficult I’d not even consider it. Yet, this is compelling. I want to grow old with family around me. I want to feel like I left a footprint on the planet and an impact on my family.
Update: Taking the Plunge – Donor Eggs
Just to spice things up, after our failed 5th attempt at trying to concieve via IVF, we are now using donor eggs. In fact, these eggs were voluntarily offered to us by our 23 year old niece. She is our angel. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
The reality is that many celebrity babies are actually from donated eggs. Of course they don’t share those details with us in their media releases though, do they? Nooooo! We’re not only left aspiring to be as beautiful, fit, charming, talented and successful as they are but we also think we can be as fertile as them. Huh! Codswallup.
50 Responses to "Read About Me"
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 9:49 am
Hello to you. I am writing from Portland, Oregon USA. I felt a particular kinship to you as I have been on a journey to conceive a child for the past 10 years. I have been through it all, pills, shots, 5 surgeries, 7 AI’s (artifical inseminations) and finally 5 seperate IFV’s (3 fresh and 2 frozen cycles) I have miscarried twins twice (both about the same time frame as your miscarriage) and I had 1 cervical pregnancy that I was forced to terminate or loss my own life. Reading your story I felt compelled to write, as I have traveled the road you are on, and can relate to so much of what you are going thru. I also had to chuckle on more that one occassion as you and I have very simular personality traits (and from what it sounds like, we both have incredibly wonderful husbands)!!
I have a lot of knowledge in this vein as once again I’ve been on the hunt to “bear a child” for a while now, so if you ever need someone to bounce “real life” emotions/questions/frusterations/emphathy/sympathy/encouagements, etc off of, please feel free to contact me!
As for my own journey … my husband and I are in the processing of saving our funds to make what will ultimately be a 6th (and final) IFV attempt.
We are working with a wonderful doctor who is quite well known both in the USA and well as abroad. His name is Dr. John S. Helsa and the clinic is Oregon Productive Medicine (oregonreproductivemedicine.com)
Good Luck to you in your quest, many blessings for good fortune and a positive outcome.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I’m 40 years old and will be 41 in a few months. At ALMOST 35 years old, we underwent IVF and successfully gave birth to healthy twin boys. But in february this year, my husband asked if I would consider having another. I agreed. I just completed the 1st IVF cycle and they harvested only 3 eggs (out of 14 follicles). Aging stinks, doesn’t it? Out of those three eggs, only ONE fertilized. In two days I go in for a transfer, assuming that one embryo continues to divide normally. I think I would be willing to go through this cycle only one more time before calling it quits and just agreeing that it’s not meant to be. Perhaps ADOPTION is an option.
Don’t wait ladies. Being fertile over 40 is a myth and a rarity.
Monday, April 21, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I’m a satisfied Melbourne IVF customer so I wish you all the best with this cycle. We are about the same age too.
Friday, April 25, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Hello! I’ve just found your blog today and it is totally compelling. We are in our first IVF cycle and I am 43. Like you my consultant says I have about 12 months maximum, for this to work. Today is day 14 after the embryo transfer and our first pregnancy test this morning was negative. I was sure it would be positive! So we will follow the ‘instructions’ and re-test in 2 days time … though my mad brain may lead me to test again tomorrow and the next day and so on.. I never expected the testing to be as dreadful as this. But I am hopeful for my second test in 2 days time! Keep blogging – I’m interested in your acupuncture experience – I may try it if there is a second IVF attempt. Sending masses of positive vibes!
Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 5:46 am
I’m back.. our fresh IVF cycle failed. We were able to produce one strong embryo. My initial pregnancy test was positive at HCG level 29. But two days later that number started going down and by 4 days later is was 12. There is such a thing as “almost pregnant”. In two months we’re going to do another cycle of IVF and pray for God’s will. This process makes us ever more thankful for the twin boys we have (age 5-1/2 now) and cry along side the many women and couples in our age bracket who experience failed attempt after failed attempt. If this next try is a failure, I don’t know what we will do… not sure if we try again, do nothing, or move on toward adoption.
Best wishes to you in this next cycle.
Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 12:58 am
Hello. I’ve just found your blog and feel so close to your experience, but mine also has its own peculiarity: I’m single, and trying to conceive with sperm donnor since June 2006. Two painful, stressful, terrible years. And still haven’t got my passanger on board. I’m 41, going on 42 on november, and now I’m totally into egg donnor procedure. I’ve failed everything, IUI (one) IVF (three) and egg donnor as well (twice, two good frozen embryos each). I’m trying again soon with fresh donnor eggs. And yet my uterus looks perfectly fine, my ovaries too, my response to drugs optimal, I produced lots of eggs and my FSH is amazingly great (5-6,2). As a single, adoption is pretty difficult. So I will follow the example of those brave women, and keep on trying. Your courage is so dear to me.
Best wishes.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Hi, I like many other have just found this great site… I am 44, single and have had 4 attempts at IUI with no success. I have been approved to adopt but this is now approaching 1 year with no news as yet! I am now thinking of IVF for the first time and I appreciate at 44 its less than a 10% chance but feel that this has to be attempted at least once for my own peace of mind.. its good to hear of other women who have succeeded at a later age..
Good Luck to one and all
Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:00 am
Hi,
I just found your blog. I just turned 43 and am from Canada. I have gone through 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET. I have just done a second FET and am in the middle of the two week wait. I am feeling discouraged. I’ve been TTC for 4 years now. I have optimal response to the drugs, a good endometrium, produce lots of embryos, but have still not yet had a positive pregnancy test. It’s very frustrating and it puts a lot of stress on my marriage. I only got married 5 years ago and I really thought I could get pregnant naturally. No one else in my family has had any fertility issues whatsoever. The Nicole Kidmans and all the other actresses having children over 40 makes everyone think it’s easy and that you can conceive naturally whenever you feel like it. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I keep having faith. My RE seems positive.
Saturday, November 26, 2011 at 5:57 am
I know this post is over three years, but wondering if there were any success’s?
Friday, July 4, 2008 at 1:35 am
I just stumbled upon your blog as I am 40 and in my 2WW after a FET on 6/25. I am 99% certain this frozen cycle did not work. I have taken 4 hpts and all came back BFN. We did a fresh cycle in 4/08 which of course failed which is why we just did the frozen cycle. Where do you come up with the strength to keep trying after 5 IVF’s. That is amazing. I am to the point that when I do an hpt I set it on the dresser for my DH to see as I cant bear to see one more negative result. I was not sure what to do after this failed cycle and I feel like getting off this emotional rollercoaster. I am normally not a quiter, but I am a realist. Your story has given me a bit of inspiration to possibly try again. Good luck to you and I will keep checking in.
Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 12:29 am
I also stumbled across your blog, and I am so glad that I did. I can relate to so much that you write, and I like your sense of humor. I feel deep pain at times, but I try to keep a positive outlook and joke about things (when appropriate). I turned 40 this year, and my husband and I (married 2005) have been trying to conceive for the last couple of years. I had a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy, but kept thinking, I still have time–the missed pregancies were just my body gearing up/training for the big game. Like you, I thought of famous people and each time an article announced a pregnancy, I immediately, went to the age of the actress/singer. When I saw 41, 42, 43, I felt relieved, validated. I exercise and am in decent shape (though do like junk food!), surely it won’t be a problem, I thought. My head was in the sand, and I kept pushing off ART. Heck, I rarely take aspirin when I have a headache; I was not excited at the prospect of flooding my body with hormones. We finally started down the IVF road about 6 weeks ago and the statistics (which I had conveniently not researched), blew me away. As you note, all of the fitness, “cute outfits,” and healthy skin cannot turn back the clock on those eggs or your ovaries. What was I thinking?! Anyway, they collected 3 eggs, but only one fertilized. I am in the 2ww after a 3dt, and I feel the insanity (thanks for sharing yours). If this does not work, we will try again. Your blog has inspired me. I wish you all the best as you continue on your journey, and I hope that you and your husband conceive and deliver a beautiful baby (or two!). I look forward to reading your updates.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Good morning. I’m new to this site and need some support. At 42 yo and after 3 failed IUI’s last year, I was finally able (finance) to try my first IVF which I pray is the only one I need,please!!! I had 6 eggs at retrieval, ICSI was done, 5 fertilized but only 4 were good. I’m told that I was pretty lucky. They were transferred yesterday around 1 pm. Since then all I can do is think about it and I have to wait until August 1st for the pregnancy test. I think I already ruined my chances.
1. At 4am this morning,Kitty Cat was knocking over water bowl. I woke up and picked up all 12 lbs of him and now I’m scared because they say NO LIFTING.
2. Can’t fall back asleep and a few hours later, have to go to the bathroom, and guess what, constipated!!!! Had to push, I sat there for an hour, it was brutal. That’s probably the worst thing to do, pushing, but I had no choice, I would have been there for hours.
Less than 24 hours after transfer and two stupid mistakes. I guess I can say if it’s meant to be then it will be. I hope I didn’t go thru all these weeks for nothing. I wonder if the progesterone injections are doing this to me?
HEY Jennifer, how did the transfer go? Hoping you get great results! Good luck
Friday, July 25, 2008 at 4:18 am
I feel your pain. I’m 40 and was (note “was”) on my
2nd round of IVF when I found out that out of my 6 eggs only
1divided normally. That little guy is probably not going to hang on either. It’s very depressing. As difficult as all of this is for me to take, I can only believe that my infertility is for a higher purpose. Perhaps I’m supposed to rescue animals or adopt unwanted children or maybe just overcome my selfishness and jealousy. My husband (of 10 yrs) and I have always said that nothing has come easy for us, why should this? I do believe in God and I am greatful for what I have, but this is still painful. Never knowing the feeling of being pregnant and having a small person grow inside of you is a hard pill to swallow.
I hope all goes well with you. I’ve taken comfort in reading the many comments written on your site. Good luck
[…] new. Ladies, please keep me informed of your progress. A lot of their stories are on on my About Me […]
Friday, July 25, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Thank you for your blog.
I am 43, closer to 44 and currently on IVF/ICSI Cycle #4.
This has been our first antagonist cycle. For a variety of reasons we are onto our third clinic and third fertility specialist. I find the process tiring and confounding.
We are country patients and each blood test and ultrasound involves a 7+ hours return trip and early morning appointments mean overnight stays.
Our first ever embryo transfer was cancelled. We sat in the waiting room as we received the call. It was a long trip home that day. We got a speed camera ticket from that trip home in the post on the day that should have been our 14 day blood test.
FSs trot out how age gives us our low low chances of success, then ask us what the cause of our infertility is. Do we need a reason other than age?
We have no friends or relatives of the right age to approach as potential donors, so that option is unlikely for us. So we keep on. Sometimes I wonder why.
Tomorrow is my all important ultrasound to see if this cycle is to go ahead. My ovaries are not having the horrible ache they usually do. I fear not much is going on there. My largest egg yield has previously been 3. Our first cycle was cancelled after a large cyst formed. Cycle #3 saw our first transfer, by day of the blood test I had not bled, but it was not to be. I had a zero HCG reading.
I am not sure I can continue with this until age 45. I fear the next step will be the specialist will say that is all that can be done.
At 40 – I think you still have time to do this. Don’t let them put you off just yet!
Best wishes,
Lifeslurper.
Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 12:27 am
Hello all,
I have just stumbled upon this courageous blog, and I had to add my 2cents to all you IVF support seekers.
One of the major factors in the successful development of embryos is the initial quality of the eggs. In general, egg quality tends to decline slowly in the late thirties, and more significantly in the early forties.
If you have been diagnosed as a poor responder to hormone therapy and you still have a regular monthly period, we suggest you to take Herbal Support for Egg Quality Improvement product for two months and then recheck your FSH level. Once it has gone down, you can try to conceive naturally; or with a low dose of hormones (to prevent the FSH from rising again); or by means of IVF using your own natural ovulation. This treatment is also suggested if the doctor suggests an egg donation when your monthly period is still regular, since the Herbal Support formula can improve your egg quality, enabling you to get pregnant from your own egg.
Best wishes…
Friday, August 1, 2008 at 1:51 am
I hope everyone is doing well. “42andstilltrying,” thanks for asking about my transfer. The embryo implanted, but HCG levels dropped after approximately 10 days of testing the levels (which rose initially but were low generally). I am glad that we got as far as we did. I will go on August 11 for post-procedure consultation. We plan to try again. “42andstilltrying,” I wish you luck on your test. I wish the best to everyone trying!
Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Hello All,
I’m nearly 43 closer to 44 & we’re about to start our 6th ICSI cycle with IVF Australia in Sydney.
I have just completed what I have affectionately called “Hell Fortnight” for the 5th time with no result…..!!!
We’re on IVF due to my age & my husbands vasectomy, spare a thought for him, every egg collection & I’ve been exceptionally lucky, count them there has already been five (5) he comes with me & has surgical sperm removal under a local so one of us can drive home.
Prior to reading these pages, I was feeling a little sorry for myself, but I now realise just how lucky I have been…
I produce follicles with eggs everytime, sometimes only 2 or 3 but usable eggs that fertilize & remember we only need one good egg for a baby. I have no adverse reaction to any of the drugs & I get a transfer with at least one good “A” Grade egg with no fragmentation each cycle we have had, we are currently on the serach for “super glu” to make my embroys inplant.
Yes IVF is a BIG DRAMA to go through, & I have felt everyone of the above feelings of hopelessness & doom & gloom, but the end result that we are trying to acheive is a miracle.
To all over 40 IVFer’s please keep trying….
Lissa
Monday, August 11, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Hello,
I am a doctoral student at a Southern University. As part of my dissertation research, I am exploring individuals and couples use of blogs in dealing with infertility issues. I would be extremely grateful if you could please fill out a survey questionnaire for me. The survey can be completed by clicking on the link below
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=9Z54YQjNXqULR9kbTDrmRg_3d_3d
I am trying to reach as many people as I can. I would be greatly indebted to you if you could please pass on the word to your other IVF friends. I would be happy to forward a copy of my research if you would be interested in knowing the result of this research.
Thanks for all your help.
Best,
Tulika
Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I’m sorry to hear that this condition effects so many couples/women in different ways. I’m in British Columbia, Canada… I’m only 32 but have had 2 Ectopics, 1 Failed IVF, 1 Chemical Pregnancy and 1 Failed FET… Not sure if we’re going to try again… It’s not covered by medical care here and the 3 hour travel to the doctors is difficult to say the least… My husband and I have been TTC since July 2000… You’ve all given me hope… Now I just have to figure out the financial part out… Thanks for your
Thursday, August 21, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I just stumbled upon the current issue of “Conceive” and read about your blog… I am saying a prayer for you both for good fortune in your quest. May you and your husband be blessed.
I, too, am on a quest to have a child. My husband and I had our first “miracle child” when I was 41. Yes, conception the “old-fashioned way” after the age of 40 really DOES happen! Good thing b/c my husband was/is adamantly opposed to medical intervention and/or adoption. “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” is his motto. (Ah, but that’s why IVF was created – to let it be!)
We had suffered 3 miscarriages prior to her birth and had already been told that parenthood would be through medical intervention only. Thankfully, we conceived our daughter the old-fashioned way, miraculously enough. I was so enamored of her – didn’t want to miss a minute of her first years! – that I put off trying to get pregnant far too long. So, now here I am at 45 – quickly pushing 46 – hoping for another miracle to occur. I’ve miscarried twice since trying and while I am more than willing to try other methods, fertility doctors will not treat me without my husband’s consent. There goes THAT idea!!!! (He’d love another child, but does not wish to “change fate”… and that’s coming from a man who doesn’t even believe in fate. The irony.)
I’ve been told by others in my situation that in our state, IVF is not typically an option with one’s own eggs at my age. A donor egg would have to be utilized and we just cannot afford the process, as insurance does not cover this procedure.
I will certainly subscribe to your blog so that i can read more about you and your quest. May good fortune bless you. 🙂
Monday, August 25, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I’m becoming more and more shocked that medical insurance doesn’t cover IVF. There seems to be such a need for this type of medical intervention among women 40 and over. Depending on what country you live in your options seem to vary greatly. I’m from the US, and medical coverage is all over the board when it comes to covering things like this. The sad part is, most of us are already contributing to at least part of our coverage. And it’s not cheap. My coverage covers up to 4 IVF tries for my lifetime. I’ve had 2 unsuccessful tries to date. I wish there were some type of charity involvement for women who want to at least try one time without having to remortgage their house. My heart goes out to everyone who not only has to commit emotionally to the whole IVF experience, but who also has to take a huge financial hit at the same time. Clearly it is easier for those who can afford it, but for those who cannot, it must be devistating. To have to recover from 2 losses at the same time…try to stay strong. Brighter days will come.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I’m so pleased to come across your site. Just had a transfer yesterday, and it seems that I hit the internet more frequently during the two week wait. Good to see so many comments which I can relate to. You can feel so isolated while going through IVF especially in this age bracket. I turn 44 in two weeks, I guess you know what I want for my birthaday. Its true that many women are not fully aware of the fertility and age issue. I blame the media for this. They make it seem too easy and fail to report the many failures.I married later in life. I was lucky enough to marry my soul mate about 18 months ago and become a step mum. I tried to start a fmily very soon after my marriage and was lucky enough to get pregnant the first month. I guess I didn’t realise what a miracle that was at the time. Unfortunately I miscarried at 8 weeks. I saw a fertility specialist four months later and began my IVF journey like many of you. I am currently on my fourth cycle, second stimulated cycle. I had two 5 day embryos transfered yesterday , I had 3 other embryos, but as of yesterday they were not of a high enough grade to freeze. I’m at the stage of wondering how long I should keep trying? Am I being realistic at my age or am I wanting what is not possible? Should I be happy with what I already have in life? I can’t talk these issues through with many people. I have been reluctant to tell too many people that I am TTC. I feel that their response might be that I’m too old to even want this. Overall I know that I am lucky to be able to give this a go regardless of the final outcome. I want to look back in 10 years knowing I gave it my best shot. i am wishing that this cycle works. Fingers crossed. Have read about alot of failed cycles. Would love to hear a few success stories, are thay out there?
Saturday, September 27, 2008 at 12:36 am
Hello, I’m praying for all of you ladies who are fighting so very hard to keep your dreams alive. We must stay strong however hard that may be at times.
My story starts happy with using Clomid at 38 and producing a healthy baby girl. I think when she took her first breath it was the first and only time in my life that I have cried/sobbed tears of joy. We got married at 34 and I had thyroid troubles…had to have it removed. Anyway, we got my beautiful Ava 4 years ago.
At 40 we went to see William Schoolcraft at the Colorado Center and after thousands of dollars of testing and travel, flight, hotel…etc…he told me to use donor eggs. While I know that is a beautiful choice for some, my husband and I decided that we wanted to try with our own equipment. I was very unhappy with the travel and test fees with Schoolcraft, quite a ripoff! He is twice as much as my current RE. He owns his own lab and makes quite a profit. He is also concerned with his #1 rating.
I then began to research and came accross Randene Lewis and The Infertility Cure. I began a 70% organic diet (due to price and access) and accupunture twice a week. We tried 3 cycles of Clomid, three IUI cycles with injectables and then decided to try IVF. We did IVF and the first cycle worked!! We did amnio and the baby girl was healthy. However, at 17 weeks I got a flu bug and began to have an uncomfortable feeling. Well, on Good Friday I was getting dressed for Mass and started bleeding. We were in Gulf Shores, AL four hours away from home with my husband’s family. I was admitted and put on Mag Sulfate. (big mistake! they said I was 4cm dialated which I was not) My husband had me air flighted to our Women’s hospital in Louisiana where I stayed for six plus weeks. Only to be ignored by the drs that I was having labor pains again. My water broke and I delivered our Beautiful baby Angel girl Aubrey 1 day shy of 23 weeks. She was also born in the toilet due to a nurse telling me to try and go to the bathroom because I said I had bladder pressure (had no idea that was a sign of labor, first was a C-section). Then she hesitated to get my baby out of the toilet. They made no attempts to help her nor did they offer for me to hold her. I had no idea that she lived for 30+ minutes. No one should ever have to bury a child it is enough to do you in! My little girl Ava saved my life and I thank God every day for her. This all happened in April ’08.
We started a new IVF cycle in August. It looked like we had six follies and they retrieved only three eggs. All three fertilized but one was not normal. They transfered on day three, 2 grade 3 embryos six cell that were moving to eight cell. I was a little upset with my transfer. When we arrived at to hospital the directions are to empty bladder and then begin to fill. (bladder needs to be full for transfer) My dr. whom I love was standing in the hall saying are you full…you ready…we got two. I said no, I just emptied. Anyway, they did not give me time for the Valium to relax me or for my bladder to fill. He made comments during the transfer that my uterus was a little trans…something? Then right after they put the embyos in he told me to lay on my stomach…what was that about? Now I am 5 days past my three day tranfer and having tenderness and what feels like period cramps. Any words? Has anyone else had cramps or tenderness in the center.
Thank You for reading my rant! It’s the first time I have written any of this down. Love your site for us 40+ gals!
Best Wishes to all of you!
Saturday, September 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I am turning 44 in a few weeks, and am on my 4th IVF (two failed IUI’s which were required by my insurance, before proceeding to IVF—to me, that was just lost time). I respond really well to the drugs (last time 26 eggs retrieved, 19 fertilized, 10 transfered–but a negative result). This time, 18 eggs retrieved,,and still waiting for fert rate, which will determine # to transfer.
I asked my RE about stats for over 40’s/high responders. No one seems to have this data broken out—the live birth rate for over 40’s is so low, but is that because of a low response rate to the stimulation drugs, i.e. so fewer to transfer? Just curious if I should absolutley stop @ 44 years, or if there is hope for a good responder? Anybody out there have any success stories? Or know where that data might be to guide me one way or the other? Thanks so much.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 3:52 am
Hi all. I am turning 43 in june 09 . first ivf fresh cycle we got 11 eggs, 9 fertlized.2 we had transfered,i was so sure i was pregnant,feeling sick,sore boobs.but we got a negative blood test.i was devastated,as was my partner we were so sure we were going to be successful.i cried for days.we had 6 day 3 embryos frozen for later, so that was a little upside to it all.So now here we are about to have out potencial babies defrosted,transfering hopefully 2. I am scared, scared of failure.My partner is 37, neither of us have fertility problems.I had my tubes tied 18 years ago.success stories for women our age are few and far between.thank you so much for this site, your story moved me and i feel alittle of your pain.good luck in the future.
Saturday, December 6, 2008 at 3:43 am
Hi Friend,
Still wiping the tears from a BFN two days ago, wondering if, at age 45, I even want to try a frozen transfer. Neither my husband ( age 55) or I have any children and I want to believe that life will not deny us this joy but the statistics don’t lie in our favor. Positive wishes and prayers to all of you who are struggling with a failed attempt, or deciding to try again and to those fortunate enough to have been able to tell someone you loved that you are pregnant, good health, great joy and may all the blessings of motherhood be yours to enjoy.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 11:55 pm
To Boston 09/27/2008
I was wondering the same thing.
here is the only information I have found about responding and age and it is just for this clinic.
http://www.advancedfertility.com/eggspregnancyrates.htm
good luck
Monday, January 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Really thrilled with your news ! Starting my journey over 40 next month .
Your willingness to share is a very precious gift.Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sunday, January 18, 2009 at 1:29 am
Hi Boston,
I just thought I’d check in to see if by any chance you were working with Boston IVF?
I am 43 and on first cycle of IVF .. just can’t get my head around using donor eggs until we try our own …
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I turned 41 last August. I got married in September and we’ve been trying for a baby since then. Nothin’ happened. I was put on Clomid last month. I thought my period started Monday (day 28) because I had light brown spotting. That’s still continuing, and there’s no sign of my full period. Because I’m clutching at straws, I’m hoping this is a the spotting that some women experience during pregnancy. However, it will probably start in the next day or so.
Congratulations on your twins! You’re so lucky to have a donor you know.
Thursday, March 5, 2009 at 3:45 am
After our 3rd failed attempt (using a gestational carrier) … I came searching the internet and came across this site last night. I just turned 40. I can’t carry due to uterus issue. Eggs were always good but we tried with a carrier twice and it failed. We just tried again with my SIL and it failed. This cyle was different for me b/c I didn’t respond as well. Only got 2 eggs!!! The other cycles I got 5-7! Quality is always very good though. But this cycle (now being 40) I think I maybe hitting my age wall since I only got 2!!! Of the 2 – they both fertilized, both good quality (1 – 8-cell Grade B, 1 7-cell Grade B – and both were assisted hatching). However, just got the big “negative” yesterday. The doctor feels as though my quality is good, I respond reasonably well for my age and has a more aggressive cyle plan for me to try again using my own eggs. Obviously I want to try again … however … should I just hang it up and go for donor? After reading Melbagirl’s story … I felt I really connected to her and maybe that’s the way to go??? For all of you 40+s – can you give me your thoughts? I’m trying to read your stories but am at a cross-roads. I haven’t given donor eggs much thought b/c doctors seem to think I have a good shot with my own but … I’m not sure anymore and am growing tired of all the (negatives) I keep getting. Oh … and I am paying out of pocket for this b/c insurance won’t cover. They only covered the first one. Thanks to all and good luck 🙂
Thursday, March 5, 2009 at 3:48 am
Oh – and Melbagirl – I am SO thrilled for you. I was so down last night and I came across your blog and cried tears of joy for you!!! You seem like such a wonderful person. I’m so happy your story has a happy ending!!! Congrats on your twins!!! 🙂
Saturday, August 15, 2009 at 10:58 am
Hi, I just found your site and feel for a change that am not alone. I am 35 and been married 10 years to a wonderful guy. I have had miscarriages in which I would lose the baby at 11 weeks and 5 rounds of IVF which all failed. I am 10 days into treatment to receive an donated embryo from a couple from my clinic. They had finished with their treatment and realised what a gift an embryo is and decided to donate to a couple from same clinic. My husband and I were chosen as both husband have similar ethnicity. We met our lovely donating couple and while preparing myself for a transfer, so to a naturopath healthy living etc, I feel pregnant naturally, I got to 10 weeks got really excited when we had our early ultrasound and saw a heartbeat. 3 days later woke up in the middle of night to massive cramping I had started to miscarry again.
I have recovered from that with the help of really good family and friends. So now the doctor said my only option is these donated embryo’s. We are hoping for a transfer in another 12 days. Embryo donation seems to be an option that is not really spoken about so the emotional toll is very high, and it took a lot of counselling to ensure that this was the right was forward for us. Our donating couple would like to remain in some sought of contact, as if it works there children and (god I hope) there will be blood relations. And I have everything crossed. I thank everyone for there messages, to read them all doesnt make you feel so alone.
Good luck to everyone
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Congratulations on the birth of your twins. Unfortunately for me on the 30 August when we were due to have our donated embryos unfrozen each one of the four failed and no transfer was done. The donating couple are just as upset as us, but we have decided that it is enough, and to focus on building a life together. I wish all the woman going through this very hard decision the best of luck!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Congratulations on the birth of your twins!! I am due to have embryos unfrozen on the 4th Jan and transferred into me on the 5th. I am nervous to say the least. This is our first attempt and possibly our last as I was really really ill with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome in the first part of this IVF cycle.
Nothing can prepare you for IVF because the emotional rollercoaster is way bigger than any drug reaction. To put it simply, I am scared. I hold on to my God and trust that He will knit a baby together in my womb.
Thank you my anonymous blogger – your story and your honesty is an inspiration. x
Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 11:35 pm
nice! on a site note: BabyGenderChooser.com has some great techniques for reliably conceiving a boy or a girl.
Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 2:01 am
Hi
My name is Elise and I’m the Articles Editor at Marie Claire. We’re working on a story about women over the age of 40 who conceived using IVF and I was wondering if you’d be interested in participating in our story? Please email me at enersesiansole@hearst.com, if so. Thank you!
Elise
Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 12:08 pm
This is a great blog. thanks for keeping it up for us all to hear your story.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 3:13 am
I am 42 going on 43 in two months. I have had 2 failed ivf’s. The first with 2 embies 5 cells grade 3 and the second with 4 embies 3 8 cells grade 4 and 1 5 cell grade 4. They were all transferred. Sadly they did not implant. I am planning on doing a final cycle and next month and can only pray for the best and that God’s will be done. My prayers go out to all the “mature” women out there trying to have a child. 🙂
Monday, October 10, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Hi. I was 41 when I started, now 42. We are foreigners living in Philippines where the whole process is a bit cheaper, hence we took the opportunity to do IVF for the first time. I responded well to stimulation, produced 12 follies, resulted in 12 embryos, 11 of which made it to Day 3 (5+ cells). We had 3 rounds of implantation, the first fresh, the second two frozen (all survived thawing). We also had assisted hatching (some kind of scarification of the embryo). First was a huge disappointment. Second I always felt like it wasn’t going to work. Third, I nearly didn’t do but I just couldn’t flush the remaining 3 – so I went ahead. I felt really positive since one of the embryos, after thawing, went from 5 to 8-9 cells just while waiting for the procedure. I’ve lost weight, cut out alcohol and caffiene, done meditation, everything. Doctor says I have the ovaries of a 20 year old. Still, nothing. I don’t think I have the will to do another round. I hope sharing my story helps.
Thursday, December 1, 2011 at 2:13 am
Wife (age 40) and I just got the news of negative pregnancy test after our 1st own egg cycle. 8 eggs at retrieval, 4 fertilized that day, 4 were immature, but 3 of those matured overnight and by day 3 we had a 6 cell, a 5 cell and the doctor went ahead and used the two 3 cell that were fertilized with the slower maturing eggs. Hopes were high, but not to be. Devastated despite knowing the odds going in.
My question here is: How do folks finance/afford a 2nd cycle? Used ARC One + the first time, so that’s done with there being no frozen embryos. My wife has a 28 yr old sister who could potentailly be an egg donor to increase our chance of success, but we don’t know how to pay for another cycle. Any info here would be appreciated.
Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 8:56 am
Hii, I’ve hade 3 miscarige and now I decided to use donors eggs to finally have my baby this year…I’m 40 now and just realize that yes that’s what celebraties been doing and kept it like a secret….
Monday, February 6, 2012 at 3:12 am
Hello, I’ve just received the news of a BFN three days ago and have become almost obsessive in trying to figure out what could have gone wrong. My husband has been diagnosed with Y deletion chromosone, which results in low sperm count and motility. We have been recommended to go through ICSI and IVF. I am 39 and responded well to the medication in that they extracted 15 follicles, 12 usable and 9 fertilized. We thought that everything was going well until day of transfer (day 5) when they told us that only two embryos survived and they were both of poor quality. I don’t understand why we have to wait 2 and a half weeks before seeing our doctor. I feel like we are left hanging. Was it my eggs that are too old, was it based on using my husbands sperm, would it be worth exploring donor sperm, would IUI work or would we need to go through this all over again? We live 2 hours away from the fertility clinic and I’m afraid that my work will not accomodate me through another cycle. Has anyone had to deal with Y deletion chromosone and fertility? Any questions that we should be looking at asking at our follow up appointment? Helplessly looking for answers…..
Friday, April 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm
Hi my name is Carolyn I live in Canada and I am 51 years old my husband is 45. We are both very healthy and just want to have a baby together. I have no illnesses and am not on any medications. Time just ran out for us. We are trying to conceive using donor eggs and ICSI and IVF. Things are a little tricky in Canada as there are age restrictions at some of the clinics. If you know of clinics in Canada that do IVF over age 51 we would appreciate your help. There are no real restrictions in the US and we have looked into India as an option and also surrogacy. I would consider India if you are on a low budget, Delhi, they do some really incredible work and the price is so low. My husband and I are so happy together and we really want to have the joy and blessing of sharing in having a baby together. It is a second marriage for both of us. All the best to all of you and I will keep you posted regarding our journey together.
Friday, April 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Hi my name is Carolyn I live in Canada and I am 51 years old my husband is 45. We are both very healthy and just want to have a baby together. I have no illnesses and am not on any medications. Time just ran out for us. We are trying to conceive using donor eggs and ICSI and IVF. Things are a little tricky in Canada as there are age restrictions at some of the clinics. If you know of clinics in Canada that do IVF over age 51 we would appreciate your help. There are no real restrictions in the US and we have looked into India as an option and also surrogacy. I would consider India if you are on a low budget, Delhi, they do some really incredible work and the price is so low. My husband and I are so happy together and we really want to have the joy and blessing of sharing in having a baby together. It is a second marriage for both of us. All the best to all of you and I will keep you posted regarding our journey together.
Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm
To everyone out there on this journey, do not give up till you feel you have done your best. And keep the most understanding friends with you to help pick you up from the setbacks.
At age 40 and after 4 years TTC, we are finally pregnant with own egg IVF. We did 6 fresh IVF in total. This time we again changed clinic, had a different protocol and had immune tests, which showed I needed immune treatment,which is more common 40+ because our bodies have had longer to develop autoimmunity, lol.
It is early days, we are only in week 8 and so we take it easy but live in such gratitude that despite the odds, we reached this far.
Thank you for leading the way with this blog and your brave story.
Wishing you all luck, joy and friends who get it.
A Taste of IVF Over 40 
Friday, February 29, 2008 at 9:52 am
🙂
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 1:13 pm
It has been great to read your blog. I am 2 days away from taking pregnancy test at the hospital, but I have already taken 2 home tests that were negative. This is my first IVF experience…. my 39 year old eggs…my husband’s sperm…22 eggs were harvested 2 embryos 1 grade 1, 1 grade 2 were implanted on day 5 after harvesting. According to our embryologist, at age 39 that is quite uncommon (only about 5% at my clinic). However, I still do not know if I feel pregnant…or at least no more so than I have for weeks on all the hormones…